The Horror of Side Profiles

So, like I've said many times before, right now I am in the process of moving my lower jaw back to make my overbite even worse. Then, come surgery, they will push it out so I'll have a normal lower jaw. I don't know all the medical terminology and everything, but my orthodontist and surgeon have discussed this a lot and decided this is the way to do it in order for me to get the best possible results.

It's been a slow process, but I've been dealing with it. Yet, it's getting harder because I can actually start to see how bad my overbite is becoming. I know this is technically a good thing, because it means all the orthodontic work is doing what it's supposed to do. However, it's difficult to see my lack of chin and poor side profile go from bad to worse. I have been self conscious about my side profile my entire life so seeing it get even worse is taking a toll on me. I'll be feeling perfectly content with the way I look and then I'll catch a glimpse of my side profile in a mirror or something and just feel terrible. I know it will all be worth it in the end and I am completely aware that I sound shallow and superficial, but I guess I just needed to rant about my frustrations.

Oh, and to make matters even worse, my surgeon and orthodontist now do not think my teeth will be ready for surgery on March 15th. They now think I may have to wait until May. I was so upset when I found out because for so long March 15th just seemed like this finishing line that I was getting closer and closer to reaching, and now, I don't know exactly when the surgery will be. I think the not knowing is the worst part of it all.

Here's some recent photos. I can't even handle my side profile, it's so bad haha

I was just getting ready to go outside, hence the giant scarf. From the front and smiling, I think I look like a relatively normal human being. But then I see my side view and lack of chin, and I'm just like wtf.

But enough negativity for now! I'm just been having a couple of rough weeks but I know it will all be worth it and by this time next year, hopefully I'll be healthy, happy, and a lot more confident!

Moving the rest of my teeth back

So I finally got a different wire to move my front bottom teeth back..and oh my god, I am in so much pain right now. I know this is nothing compared to the actual surgery pain, but I'm tempted to steal one of my puppy's teething toys! Hopefully the pain will go away soon. I'll definitely be eating some frozen yogurt today..I don't know what else I'll be able to chew

Photo Update

I am really procrastinating from studying. Here's some photos I just took. I really think my teeth moved from the last time I took photos!

So happy the top braces are not on yet. They will probably go on late January/early February

2013: A Year of Big Changes

Happy New Year everyone! 

When I first found out that my surgery would probably be in March 2013, it felt like that was a million years away. Now it seems like it's just around the corner! I cannot believe that I've had my lower braces on since June. It really has gone by quickly. After months of preparing and stress and anxiety, I'm actually starting to get giddy that I'll be having the surgery soon. It's scheduled for March 15th, but there's still a chance it might need to be later. I've been going to my orthodontist every 10-14 days, but because of the holidays, my next appointment isn't until January 17th. Hopefully by then my teeth will be where my orthodontist wants them to be and we can confirm the March 15th surgery date.

I feel like my life has been at a stand still for the last couple months. I graduated college in May and after much discussion with my parents they thought it would be best for me to come home, take some time off, and focus on getting this surgery. So, instead of staying in New York and getting a job immediately after graduation (like I always envisioned I'd do), I had to come home to Maryland and rethink what I was going to do. It was really difficult, especially when all my college friends were getting their first jobs and apartment hunting and I had to come home. In the beginning of the process, it was really unclear when I would be ready for surgery. At first, they thought I might be able to get it in July, but then it changed to March, and even now it's still not set in stone. So I came home looking to do something really flexible since I never knew exactly when I would have to take time after to recover from the surgery. So now I'm taking MBA classes at a local college, but I'm hoping to transfer somewhere else after the surgery because I want a program more specialized in what I got my undergraduate degree in. I'm going through the grueling application process now and taking the GRE for the second time on Friday (the GRE's are awful! I wish they were not a requirement). Once I'm done with the GREs and have all my applications in, I am going to feel so relieved. Hopefully then I can get a part time job and just wait for my surgery to happen!

I am really looking forward to this year. 2012 was stressful and just filled with so much uncertainty regarding this surgery. I think 2013 is going to be my best year yet!

This is getting ridiculous....

So...I did have a tentative surgery date for March 15th and it was so nice to have an actual date to count down to. Unfortunately, this date no longer seems too likely to happen because my teeth are just moving too slowly. It's just so annoying how I can't get a definitive date on my surgery since it's all dependent on how my teeth move. But at my last orthodontist appointment they put these springs in that will hopefully speed up the process and I can tell it's working because my teeth kill! I now know how more poor teething puppy feels when he just needs to bite everything in sight! 

But here's some awkward photos of my teeth!

                                                    

The larger space is where the tooth to the right used to be. That tooth is moving into the place where I had a tooth pulled. It's been moving toward that molar since June. Once it's far enough, then the rest of the bottom teeth will get pushed back as well. The same thing is happening on the other side too. 

                                         Here's the spring they put in.

 As you can see, some of the other bottom teeth are already starting to shift. It looks like such a crooked mess haha

                                                    Here's a better view of the bottom


 And here's some photos of my new puppy just because! He's making this whole living at home/taking time off to get this surgery done bearable! 

Speech Pathologist

I met with a speech pathologist who was recommended through my surgeon and has a lot of experiencing with patients undergoing jaw surgery. Basically she just had me come in and talk and then read some sentences out loud to her. She said based on that she could tell I tend to thrust my tongue on certain sounds because of the placement of my jaw and this can cause my speech to be slightly mumbled. Pushing out my jaw will hopefully correct this.

She also gave me some very helpful insight to my surgery and what I'll be feeling like in the weeks after the surgery. She said it was going to be a hard time, I won't be able to do much, I'll probably lose 10-15 pounds, and I'll have to eat everything out of a syringe for awhile. BUT she said it does get better. Like any major surgery, it's a huge process and it takes some time for you to get used to it and for you to realize that it was totally worth it. All in all, it was a helpful meeting I just wish my teeth would move faster so I can get an official surgery date!

Also, I am a big Sex and the City fan and throughout this whole process of TMJ and braces, I always think of that episode where Miranda has to get braces because she's a tongue thruster who might have TMJ! Ha looks like I have the same problems as her...

Nothing too New

So I have not updated in a while, because honestly there hasn't been much to update on. I'm still going to the orthodontist every two weeks to get my wires all adjusted. Basically, I'm just waiting for two of my teeth to fill the gaps of the two teeth I had taken out and it is a slowww process, but they're moving! And then once that's done, then we start work on my other bottom teeth. From what I understand, my orthodontist's goal is my make my overbite even worse (I know that sounds weird) but then in surgery my lower jaw will be pushed out to make everything the way it should be.

I have an appointment scheduled in December to see my surgeon, which is the first time I've seen him since I decided to go through with this process. So hopefully from there I can get an official surgery date. But as of now, surgery is still tentatively scheduled for March.

My surgeon also recommended that I see a speech pathologist so she can see if there is anything wrong with my speech or swallowing. I swear, from seeing an ENT to a sleep apnea specialist, I feel like I have seen every type of doctor on the planet. But I guess it's a good thing because it will diagnose if I have any other health problems as a result of my jaw, making the surgery even more worth it!

All I keep thinking is that this time next year, I will most likely be done with this whole process. It is so weird to think about in a years time, my braces will be off (fingers crossed), I'll know what it's like the sleep without sleep apnea, and I'll look different too. It's all pretty mind blowing.